Each year or so I find myself wanting to diet. Needing to. Whatever. This year, being only at its beginning, I just treated myself to a nice dinner and my favourite dessert in the whole world, two Reese's peanut butter cups which I'll probably regret later. Or not. I'm thinking about the way I look, sometimes I care too much, sometimes I just ignore it. But thank goodness my life and work never depended on my looks, I never struggled to be accepted, to be admired, to fit in the latest trend of skinny jeans and whatnot. And although I was blessed to grow among healthy friends and colleagues, I know there are millions of girls out there having eating disorders and not willing to admit or get help. Again, thank God I'm not one of them.
I first read about Portia's story on Octavian's
blog, but I wasn't interested, because 1) Portia was always just the skinny blonde from Ally McBeal I was never very interested in and 2) eating disorders, seriously? I could read other things, thank you very much. But then one night I caught a rerun of Ellen's show where Portia was invited to promote her book and talked about her struggles with both anorexia and her coming out. I was touched, ended up weeping and I knew I had to read it. But really, what she talked about during the show is merely a glimpse of the truly emotional and devastating thing she went through. Reading about it hurts beyond words.
(Ellen is such a sweet, warm-hearted woman; such a shame I don't watch her show more often.)